There's a lot of debate around how effective dating apps are. You've heard they're the death of romance, they are all about hookups, they make people less likely to settle down, etc.. And in some ways, it's fair— the way apps work make us treat people like they're more disposable and changes the way we communicate, not for the better. While a 2015 Mic study found that only 9.4 percent people met their significant other on dating apps or sites, it is how everyone I know meets someone to date. So you shouldn't freak out and think there's no way you're going to actually meet somebody online. You totally, totally can. It's just about how to figure out how to do it effectively.

Because that's the actual problem with dating apps. They seem simple and slick, letting you just quickly swipe and make an instantaneous connection. But the truth is, they're incredibly time-consuming and it's not always easy to take the conversations offline. You can spend hours a week swiping and having mindless chat without every meeting someone in real life. They can be a total time-suck, as many of us remember from when Tinder first came out and dinners and drinks were invaded by incessant swiping and dull eyes glowing in the light of phone screen.

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But part of it is finding the best dating app for you, whether you're looking for casual sex, short-term dating or a LTR. So here are the dating apps real people find most effective:

1. Jess, 25

I'm not on any right now cuz I'm leaving the country for a few months, but Bumble was my favorite and is the top choice amongst my girlfriends. The girls message first platform weeds out a lot of creepers!

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2. Zoe, 28

I don't know if Tinder is the most effective, but I feel like it's your best shot because of the sheer number of people on there.

3. Lily, 24

I was always obsessed—like REALLY REALY obsessed with Tinder. And I still have it and use it but I started trying other ones and Bumble seems to be the one I'm going on way more proper date dates from. So it depends what you're going for, but relationships I said Bumble.

4. Kristen, 22

OkCupid because from my experience, most guys on there are actually looking to date, and the fact that it includes profiles and compatibility percentages it makes it a lot easier to gauge whether you'd get along with someone.

5. Kelsea, 28

I love Bumble because it makes me get off my ass, so to speak. I can't be passive and wait for dudes to message me because I literally have to be the first one. It's also upping my texting game because you've got to be clever to get someone decent to want to hang out. I just wish it had a pause button for when I'm unable to actually send messages within that 24 hour window. We have lives, Bumble!

6. Kathryn, 27

NONE OF THEM. Just kidding. I think it depends on what you're looking for. I tend to prefer Tinder, but I'm also not really looking for a serious relationship of any sort. I usually end up getting the most dates on Tinder over any of my other apps. That being said, I probably talk more to people on OkCupid, but the chances of me meeting up with any of them in real life are slim.

7. Michelle, 28

Tinder! I've honestly never found it to be 'the hookup app', but that's also not what I was using it for. If you're looking to talk to someone and actually go on a date, I think Tinder's your best bet. You just need to spend some time and be selective. I don't think it's the best user experience, and I definitely like using The League, but my best dating app dates have been Tinder ones.

8. Jon, 30

OKC has been more semi serious dating, Tinder more casual dates/sex. Although OKC is old school and it's the same people over and over again. They're more likely to be monogamous or just really really horny'

9. Kara, 26

I'm a big fan of OKC, because I met my very rad boyfriend on there. I also only went on one truly terrible OKC date, versus the majority of my Tinder dates that were terrible. I like that OKC gives you the option (but not requirement) to write a bunch, because then you know it's a red flag if someone writes more than a sentence for each question. What are you trying to prove with your paragraphs of text?!

10. Jessica, 28

I don't use a lot of dating apps (and don't <3 them), but if I had to pick, I would say Hinge. Hinge at least somewhat provides a basis of connection (through Facebook friends) and limits the amount of swiping, each promoting a sense of consideration for the other person vs. an app with endless options and the ability to catfish. I actually met my last BF on Hinge (but it didn't last long, or end well, so take what you will from that...)

11. Ray, 31

Anything where there's an actual bio. Not just a blurb. OkCupid and Match are my favorites, because I only want to talk to someone when I learn more about them than a few photos.

12. Susan, 41

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I had a great experience on a new-ish dating app, The Dating Lounge. I like how easy it was to see who I had in common with my date. I liked that I was able to see his first and last name so I knew who he was for sure. Then I like that I was able to reach out to the woman behind the app who is a real Professional Matchmaker and ask her what she thought of him as a match for me. And she actually replied and gave me some really good advice.

13. Antonia, Author Of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life

I'm also single in a digitalized society, which means I've tried many dating apps. I have found that Tinder is more effective than any of the others. I had hoped that paying for Match would garner better results, but instead it's only offered the same cheesy pick up lines and same guys I'd already heard from on other dating apps. Tinder has offered more than just guys looking for hook ups, and I've even made some longer term friends there.

14. Asa, 32

Tinder has been the best source for dates for me.

15. Lindsay, 23

I enjoy Bumble so much. Being a twenty-something fashion girl in NYC can be so busy and fast-paced with work that I can barely find time to eat and sleep, let alone meet guys. Bumble offers the perfect platform for me to meet potential dates. I feel like a lot of the guys I match with on Bumble are in my same situation. They're busy with work and life in general. It's also a really hard place to meet people because there are SO many people. Bumble seems to attract the type of guy I'm attracted to in general, relatively preppy, good looking, successful. The guys aren't just looking for a hook up or a one night stand like on other dating apps. I find myself going to meet out for drinks, dinner or enjoying some sort of event with my matches. The lady has to reach out first, so my real struggle is seeking out a creative and eyecatching opening line to standout. Obviously, not every date goes amazing, but I've met a bunch of great guys and had a lot of fun with the app.

16. Matt, 26

I think Hinge is generally the most effective dating app. There's a limited number of potential matches a day, so you're not mindlessly swiping through countless photos. And because there's some degree of a connection, you feel like this is a real person, which leads to less flakes. I also like how there's a bit of a profile with some info, but not a super long profile of paragraphs. Plus, they just got rid of that god-awful 24-hour shot clock, which is a big upgrade.

17. Stephanie, 28

I like having control of who I talk to and message. No games needed you can just message the guy and you'll know if he likes you based on 1) if he answers and 2) if he asks you out.

18. Kristen, 25

I'm so paranoid about clicking the wrong button with my clumsy fingers that I don't actually use the mobile versions of any dating apps. I stick to desktop, for the most part, because I'm just that lame. But if I had to pick, I suppose OkCupid. Plenty of Fish has never come through for me, but I've had a few dates off OKC. Not good dates, but dates. So, good for OKC?

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As a gay man, dating can be difficult. For straight people, dating is a little more — for a lack of better words — straightforward. Straight folk can walk up to one another and assume that the other is most likely straight. For gay men, hitting on a guy in public isn’t always as easy. Unintentionally hitting on a straight dude isn’t the most comfortable of situations, and quite honestly, it sometimes can get a little dangerous. This is why the best gay dating apps are an effortless, safe way to find love for LGBTQ+ folk.

Sure, gay bars are typically a surefire way to meet other gay men in the flesh — and let’s not forget about your straight besties using the classic saying, “I have a gay friend! You guys should meet!” But, sometimes both circumstances can lead to extra awkward encounters. For example, maybe the guy you met at the gay bar is looking for a quick bathroom hookup, or the dude you’re set up with on a blind date isn’t really your type. The best gay dating apps let you choose who you would like to chat with through matching and messaging, allowing you to find guys that are your type quickly and easily.

The best gay dating apps are easy to download on both Apple and Android devices. We’re not going to lie to you, some of the best gay dating apps also make for some of the best hookup apps, but if that’s not your gig, you’re just going to have to skim through the “right now” types and find yourself someone that’s looking to date. From gay dating apps you might already have downloaded on your phone to ones you’ve never even heard of before, read on and discover where you should search for your newest boo thang.

1. eHarmony

BEST FOR LONG-TERM

It might not have been your first thought, but eHarmony makes for one of the best gay dating apps you can use in 2021. You’ve likely been hearing about eHarmony since before you came out, thinking to yourself “I’d never use eHarmony.” But, trust us, eHarmony has been helping LGBTQ+ folk find love for years. It’s considered the world’s number one trusted dating app and claims that people find love on the app every 14 minutes. Unlike a lot of the best gay dating apps, it prioritizes long-term love and commitment, so you’ll weed out all of the “looking?” and “right now” types simply by joining.

2. Hinge

RUNNER UP

If you’ve ever downloaded Tinder before, there’s a solid chance you’ve also had Hinge. Hinge calls itself the app that’s “designed to be deleted”. They want users to find love so they can get off dating apps once and for all. Like eHarmony, this app isn’t only for LGBTQ+ folk, but they really have an excellent way of making people in the LGBTQ+ community feel included and accepted. Hinge allows you to create a profile that includes photos and prompts to get other users to want to like you. It places your profile amongst a slew of others in hopes you find your match. When searching, you can respond directly to potential match’s photos or prompts for a better chance of matching.

3. Grindr

MOST UNEXPECTED

Before you turn away, hear us out. Yes, finding love on Grindr is possible. Sure, you’re absolutely going to have to weed out all of the dudes looking for non-serious endeavors, but there are a ton of great guys on Grindr open to finding something serious. For those of you who’ve never had a Grindr account, the app shows a grid of people in closest proximity to your profile, with the first person on the grid before geographically the closest to your location. This typically makes it easy to find quick fun with someone in your area but is also great for finding handsome men date-ready for the weekend. With the free version, you can find your type by singling out people in specific age ranges, tribes and even by what they’re looking for. So, if you’re looking for something serious, we suggest searching by the “relationship” option.

4. Hornet

BIGGEST SPECTRUM

There are over 30 million users on Hornet, making it one of the most popular gay dating apps in the entire world. Hornet allows for any kind of LGBTQ+ connection, from relationships to hookups to friendships to networking to simple chats. Hornet considers your profile a “portrait of you” by displaying short moments of your life, from videos to pictures to all of your best-loved interests. It allows folks from any spectrum of the LGBTQ+ community to connect on a level unlike any other. Find your next best friend, follow your buddies, meet a lover, even explore what’s going on in the world of LGBTQ+ folks around the globe through Hornet’s feed. It really is the gay app.

5. Taimi

FIRST OF ITS KIND

Find your one and only with Taimi, the first fully inclusive LGBTQ+ dating app, hosting over 10 million users worldwide. Swipe and match with folks covering all colors of the rainbow and find people you’re interested in both romantically and friendly. Unlike a lot of the best gay dating apps, Taimi offers video and call messages so you can chat with your match before meeting in person, making this one of the safest gay dating apps available. Create posts and stories the way you would on Instagram and make your profile as lively as you are. With so many incredible people worldwide using Taimi, we’re sure you’ll find a connection.

6. SURGE

NO ADS

If there’s anything we know about the best gay dating apps, it’s that the majority come with ads upon ads. For real. Download Grindr right now and try messaging at least one guy without stopping for an ad about Pokemon Go. It’s overwhelming. Thankfully, SURGE prioritizes an ad-free space to chat with other LGBTQ+ men in your area. The app works a lot like Tinder and focuses on left and right swipes to find your match with a priority toward the LGBTQ+ community. Once you match, you can see your connection’s secret pictures they’ve upload, too. Create your profile in minutes and get finding the one for you!

7. Adam4Adam

BEST MALE ONLY

A lot of the best gay dating apps have really transformed themselves over the past couple of years to become more LGBTQ+ friendly by allowing non-binary, transgender and queer folk from all over the spectrum to join. While we’re incredibly happy to see these originally gay-only apps have reinvented their identity, some gay men only want to chat with other gay men. If that’s you, your best bet is Adam4Adam. Adam4Adam, otherwise known as A4A, has been around for 15 years and is currently said to be the industry-leading gay social network. No matter what you’re looking for A4A’s got it for you. Browse unlimited profiles in five different grids from your location, check guys out in other cities you’re traveling to, see who has favorited you, select specific filters and more.

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